Life as we know it is filled with people of all shapes and sizes, colors and faiths. every individual is just that, an individual. every person is unique in his or her own way. like a fingerprint no two beings are the same; no matter how much they look alike. what makes each of us unique has to do with, yeah as always our genetic makeup, but also our environment we were brought up in and the experiences we've gone through. Although we may have gone through something similar to that of another, it doesn't mean we've gone through the exact same thing. yeah the same advice can be given to two different people who have gone through similar things but that doesn't mean they will interpret it the same way. If you want to really get someone to listen, try to speak to them as a person, an individual, not as a group of people, or generalization. For example if you know of someone who has lost a loved one and you didn't know them or the loved one very well, just heard through the grape vine that they lost someone, don't apologize for their loss. they don't want to hear it. to them its another shallow attempt to make conversation and forces them to recognize they are surrounded by people who listen to others talk about them and gossip about another persons grief. Instead save this mindless chatter to0 share with others who love to gossip. Now if you know the person and the lost loved one then its okay to share your feelings on a deeper level, not just a simple " I'm sorry" and " We'll truly miss them". sharing with this person shows that you actually care and are comfortable in sharing and even lightening their burdens. So please encourage those around you, show them they mean something to you by taking the time to listen and give advice to them as an individual and not a general public. everyone is unique and deserves a unique conversation.